


invisible

by godgaypeen



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Unrequited Love, Yay angst, it's not that sad don't worry, jaepil nation RISE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25201429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godgaypeen/pseuds/godgaypeen
Summary: After a vulnerable moment during a star-gazing session, Jae notices that Wonpil has been distant, and struggles to figure out the cause of this shift in behaviour.Don't worry, he figures everything out in the end.
Relationships: Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83





	invisible

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot based on the song Crazy by Shawn Mendes, but somehow it turned into What Could Be As Lonely As Love by Amber Run. Anyway, this one-shot serves as my own personal 'Happy One Month Anniversary of Stanning Day6' gift, so thanks for reading hehe ^_^

Jae did not quite understand what he was feeling as he lounged on the couch of his home, scrolling aimlessly through his Twitter feed.

He was bored, sure; nothing says ‘depressing’ more than a guy staying at home on a Friday night, his friends all had prior engagements that he was certainly not a part of. The blond did enjoy his alone time though, as he was the electric guitarist in a band where his life consisted of rehearsals with four other guys most days of the week, but there was something else, something he could not quite put a finger on. Well, whatever it was, he knew he absolutely hated how he felt at the moment, and yet there was simply nothing much he could do about it.

In the past two hours, he had already flicked through the entire channel list twice, tried (and failed) to clean the living room area, and even going so far as to rearrange the books on the bookshelf mounted on the wall according to colour. None of these helped him get rid of this nasty feeling of emptiness, so he resorted to clearing out pictures in his camera roll, deleting memes he did not use often. After successfully deleting around twenty memes off his phone, Jae came across a selfie of someone throwing up a peace sign and a bright smile towards the front camera, which made him smile softly in response.

“Oh, Wonpil, when did you steal my phone to take this?” He spoke aloud, then abruptly sitting up on the couch. The tall boy frowned at his phone, exiting the photos app to open his messages, scrolling past unopened texts from several groupchats before finding his chat with Wonpil. _Two weeks ago_. That was the last time the two of them texted each other, other than the band groupchat, but even then he noticed that the dark-haired boy had been less active in the group… hell, he had practically disappeared off all of his social media! Even during rehearsals, he had been a little withdrawn, only speaking when he absolutely had to, which was a stark contrast to his usual bubbly self.

“What happened two weeks ago?” Jae wondered as he attempted to recall the last time he properly talked to Wonpil.

-

_It was, as he remembered, a beautiful night._

_A little chilly, yes, but it never really mattered when he was with Wonpil; the younger boy so full of warmth that he resembled the sun… or at least, a lamp that radiated heat as well as light. A very excitable lamp, that is._

_“Wahhh, Jaehyungie, look at the stars! You can see them so clearly from up here!” Wonpil exclaimed in awe as they stepped onto the rooftop of Brian’s apartment, the shorter boy practically vibrating as he pointed eagerly at the night sky, glancing back at Jae as if to say ‘can you believe this?’. To Jae, the sky was just the same to him, stars or no visible stars, but from the way Wonpil’s entire face lit up resembling that of a five-year-old child upon seeing the view, well… maybe it was a spectacular sight._

_“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. Do… do you wanna sit down over there or something? You look like you might pass out from excitement.” Jae rubbed the back of his neck as he pointed to two sundeck lounge chairs, which were probably not the intended purpose due to the fact that there was no sun out at the moment, but he figured they could watch the stars better if they did not have to crane their necks while standing to do so._

_“Oh, yeah, good idea!” He responded, grabbing ahold of the blond’s wrist and half-dragging him towards the aforementioned lounge chairs, letting go as they sank down, settling comfortably in silence as they watched the night sky together._

_After a while, Jae spoke up. “You know, we haven’t done this in a while.”_

_“Do what?” Wonpil frowned, turning slightly to look at his bandmate and close friend._

_“This.” He pointed back and forth between the two of them. “Just the two of us, hanging out without the other guys.”_

_The darker-haired boy nodded in response, a long and almost-comical ‘Ohhh’ in understanding before switching his attention back to the view in front of them, having nothing else to say, it seems. This was a little frustrating to Jae, considering the fact that he knew his friend well enough to know that this lack of communication was different from the previous times he had been quietly chilling in his little Kim Wonpil bubble of existence. There were a few types of silences; comfortable silences and awkward silences were normal, but this was… this was distance. The blond could practically feel him starting to withdraw from him somehow, and he did not like it._

_“Are you okay? You’ve been spacing out again.” Wonpil’s concerned voice pulled the boy from his thoughts, causing him to flash his friend a less-than-convincing smile._

_“Just thinking.” He replied, waving it off as nothing major._

_“About what?” The shorter boy asked._

_“About you.”_

_“About me?” He repeated incredulously, a light dusting of pink beginning to appear upon his cheeks, which made Jae burst into laughter._

_“Why are you blushing, oh my god- It’s nothing weird, I promise!” Jae quickly said as reassurance, both for himself and the poor blushing boy beside him._

_Wonpil’s lips jutted out a little into a pout, lightly slapping his friend in the arm repeatedly. “Then what were you thinking about, you sounded so creepy!”_

_The blond shifted away to escape Wonpil’s barrage of slaps, still barely holding in his laughter. “I’m not being creepy, okay-” He put his hands up in surrender, which prompted his friend to stop hitting him in the arm, instead opting to keep his arms on his lap as he sat cross-legged, facing Jae expectantly. This made him squirm a little under Wonpil’s gaze, but he figured he should probably just tell the truth. “I’m just a little worried about you, that’s all.”_

_Head tilted to the side like a puppy, Wonpil clearly did not expect that answer whatsoever. “Why would you be worried about me?” It was a good question, one that Jae did not exactly have the answer to, save for a funny feeling in his heart that he should be worried._

_“I- I don’t know, I guess because we don’t hang out after rehearsals like we used to…” Jae said hesitantly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was worried I said or did something wrong-”_

_“Oh, nonono, you didn’t do anything wrong!” Wonpil quickly chimed in, frantically shaking his head in response. “It’s just…” He trailed off, beginning to look alarmingly upset as he bit his bottom lip. His entire demeanour had changed, which made him look even smaller than he usually is, and Jae wondered if he had overstepped his boundaries._

_“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Jae said softly, regretting ever mentioning it in the first place._

_“No, I- I want to.” Wonpil straightened up abruptly, shifting in his seat to properly look at Jae, prompting the older boy to do the same. Jae looked expectantly at his friend, shooting him a small smile of encouragement. “Jaehyungie hyung…”He began to say._

_“I… I’m really sorry for not hanging out with you anymore, I just have a lot going on my mind.” He said, his gaze purely fixated on his fingers as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. Jae knew he should not press on if his friend was not willing to share, but that does not seem to be the case for the dark-haired boy._

_“D- Do you know what it’s like to care for someone so so much, but they always see past you like- like you’re invisible? No matter how hard you try, no matter how much your heart aches for them, they just can’t see you the way you see them, and it just kills you inside over and over again until you’re convinced that you could never feel happy ever again?”_

_Jae fell silent for a moment, processing his friend’s words. He had no idea Wonpil was going through all of this alone, and he felt absolutely horrified at the idea of him having to keep all of this hurt inside. “Who is hurting you like this, Pillie?” He asked softly, feeling his heart ache for his poor friend._

_“Does it matter?” Wonpil let out a hollow laugh, blinking back tears that were threatening to spill._

_“Of course it matters, what kind of idiot doesn’t see how great you are?” Jae said with a frown. Wonpil merely looked at him directly in the eyes wordlessly, as if he wasn’t quite sure how to answer that. “She’s stupid for not realizing.” He added indignantly._

_The dark-haired boy let out an incredulous scoff, along with something Jae could not quite catch. He was perhaps 60% sure Wonpil muttered ‘yeah, so stupid’ under his breath, but he knew he should not dwell on it too much._

_“Can we not talk about this anymore? Look at me, I’m a mess!” Wonpil exclaimed, the tension rolling off the two of them as he wiped his tears away._

-

Another week had passed, and this time, Jae was not alone on Friday night.

He found himself standing outside a restaurant that the band frequented, a quaint little place that served the best pizza within a 5 kilometer radius from Brian’s house. The boys, mainly Brian and Dowoon, kept begging for them to eat out for dinner in the groupchat, and it seems that their begging worked, considering how Sungjin was already seated inside, along with the aforementioned pizza enthusiasts. The only ones missing were Wonpil and Jae, so he decided to come in before anyone began to judge him for standing creepily outside the pizza place.

“Hey, you’re here!” Brian called out as soon as Jae entered, the tall boy awkwardly approaching the table with a wave. “We ordered two pizzas already, one with cheese crust and another without!”

“Yeah, the cheese crust one is just for him, the rest is for us.” Sungjin poked fun at his bandmate, which earned him a half-joking scowl. Jae slid into the seat next to Dowoon, who was a little too busy with his slice to talk, but he nodded at the older boy in acknowledgment.

“Um… how come we’re in a four-seater? Isn’t Wonpil coming?” Jae asked.

Sungjin shook his head as he carefully chewed before speaking, “He told Dowoon he wasn’t feeling well.”

“He looked fine in rehearsals yesterday, though.” Brian pointed out, earning nods of agreement from both Sungjin and Dowoon. “Honestly, I’m kind of worried about him.”

“You are?” Jae questioned. Perhaps he was not the only one who realized that their friend was not being his usual self. This meant that Wonpil’s distant demeanour did not go unnoticed amongst the other members, and it did make his concern for the smaller boy increase.

“Uh, have you seen his Instagram stories?” Dowoon spoke matter-of-factly. “He’s been going to the park like every night or talking about how he wants to stop being invisible or something, and posting sad piano covers for the past few weeks. He’s definitely going through it right now.”

This new piece of information caused a frown to form on Jae’s facial features, the blond looking at Dowoon in confusion. “What do you mean? He hasn’t posted anything in a month.”

Sungjin and Brian glanced at each other, a silent discussion between the two. “You know… his close friends' stories.” Sungjin clarified, which made him even more confused. He was certainly not aware of Wonpil posting on his close friends story, nor was he aware that he even had such a thing in the first place.

“Wait… Jae, did he not add you to his list?” Brian asked, which made Jae feel uneasy, a sinking feeling forming at the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, the pizza did not seem appetizing anymore. 

“No. No, he didn’t.” He replied softly. “Are… Are all of you…” The three shared a look before nodding, confirming the fact that Wonpil had added each of his bandmates into the list except for Jae.

To be honest, it kind of hurts, the thought of him not deeming Jae worthy enough considering the fact that the two were closer to each other than anyone else in the band. He thought they were close friends, bordering near best friends even, and it stung to know that Wonpil did not feel the same about their friendship. _Maybe Wonpil had been distancing himself from Jae because he no longer wanted to be close with him anymore_. The thought of this sent him reeling, the idea of Wonpil not being a part of Jae’s life was a little unrealistic considering the fact that they were still in a band together, but even then he felt as if his whole world could go pitch black.

That night, when Wonpil confided in him about loving someone so much, he felt overwhelmingly jealous of that person, knowing that one day, someone was going to snatch Wonpil away from him, a time when Jae would be second best to someone he actually loved. Jae wanted to be the only one who made Wonpil let out that ridiculous hiccup-laugh of his, the only one on the receiving end of Wonpil's puppy-dog eyes expression, the only one who could make him blush like a schoolgirl with her crush-

Hold on.

What was this? Surely he does not have feelings for- 

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Jaehyungie hyung, maybe he just didn’t realize you weren’t on the list. It happens.” Dowoon said as an attempt to be reassuring, but Jae knew that was not the case. Actually, he knew a number of things now.

It took him a long time to figure it out, but thinking back to the numerous times he called Wonpil with no answer, every time his friend declined his invitation to hang out even after desperate pleading for attention…

He 100% knew what Wonpil mumbled that night on the rooftop, he knew he really needed to see his friend again somehow, and most importantly, he finally knew what the draining feeling he felt was; it was loneliness. His life was empty without Wonpil, and he was foolish for not realizing it sooner. 

-

It was really fucking cold that night.

Jae had excused himself from the restaurant after demanding Dowoon to tell him which one was Wonpil’s favourite bench at the park, and now he found himself seated there for almost an hour. His nose was already red due to the cold, and he was very sure he could not feel his toes, but the boys all promised that their missing keyboard player would head there after having dinner, so there he was. He had no clue what he was doing there, or what he would say if Wonpil did show up, but he knew that he could not leave, not until-

“Jae?”

He turned to the source of the voice, immediately standing up at the sight of Wonpil, who was comically bundled up in multiple layers, including a beanie and a scarf, to avoid freezing to death. He looked like the Michelin Man compared to Jae in his not-so-thick black hoodie and hands that were not gloved, and for a moment, he was almost certain he should not have risked hypothermia just for a boy. But he knew this was not just any random guy, and he knew he would never forgive himself if he waited until tomorrow for something this urgent.

“It’s freezing out here, what are you doing? You’re gonna catch a cold!” Wonpil fussed, fumbling with his scarf to give to the freezing boy.

“Wonpil.” No response, more fumbling. “Wonpil, look at me.”

The dark-haired boy finally looked up, doe eyes meeting with sad ones belonging to Jae, who looked absolutely nervous as if he was about to risk years of friendship with his next words. Well, technically, he really was risking their friendship, depending on the outcome of their conversation.

‘‘You’re so stupid’.”

“Huh?” Wonpil’s eyebrows were raised in a mixture of surprise and confusion.

“That’s what you said that night, right?” Jae questioned, standing his ground. He was not going to chicken out, not now. Not when he finally understood. “'You’re so stupid’.”

He bit his bottom lip in response, his gaze shifting to the ground. Jae noticed a hint of blush tainting Wonpil’s cheeks, and it was not due to the cold. “I-”

“It’s okay, really, you were right. I was stupid, I didn’t realize it then, but I know now.” Jae rubbed the back of his neck. “I am so sorry, Wonpil.”

Wonpil shook his head, tears spilling onto his cheeks as he looked at Jae with what could only be described as the kind of puppy-dog expression that could melt every single iceberg in the world. “Wh- Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault you don’t like me like that.”

“No.” Jae stepped forward, not looking away from the dark-haired boy. “I’m sorry because I _do_ like you like that, I just had no idea until I started to feel really lonely whenever you’re not around. At first, I thought it was because I just missed hanging out with you, but it’s you. It has always been you.”

They were both crying now, one bundled-up Michelin Man sobbing due to the realization that his unrequited love for his friend was not as one-sided as he thought, and the other silently sniffling because of the cold and also because he did not want the sobbing one to suffer ever again.

“This may sound a little dumb, but…” Jae wiped his tears away before taking the smaller boy’s gloved hands into his own cold ones. “I hope you don’t feel invisible anymore.”


End file.
